Tuesday, July 31, 2007

A Great Big Bushy Beard

Been to the QUT bookshop lately? I did, though I must say I was confused. It is a very confusing place to be honest. Out the front it has a bag rack. On it there is a sign that says "leave all bags outside of the shop", so I thought fair enough and left my bag on the rack and was about to walk into the store when I saw another sign. This one said "Don't leave your bags unattended." A bit of a contradiction, I say. So there I was standing for what must have been five minutes trying to come to a comprise between the two signs and in the end I smuggled my bag in underneath my shirt. Good thing they didn't have sniffer dogs to detect bags, otherwise I may of been in trouble.

Ok, now whats the deal with people listening to their headphones on the loudest setting while on the train. In fact why does everything become so annoying on the train, it's like an amplifier for annoyingness. Anyway, back to this guy (He was fifteen) I must of been ten meters away from him and I could hear every single note played. Can you say "Deaf before thirty"? I certainly can. Now your probably thinking, Dave's lieing again or has exceptional hearing, neither is correct. The ticket collectors came around and shouted "tickets please" while standing right in front of them, and he had to ask them to repeat it without his earphones in. Now, normally I don't object to music in fact I'm a fan of it. Except rap/club music/emo/noise which was all he had on his playlist. I was so close to going over to him and say "Play something decent or either you or your ipod are getting off at the next stop."

Another thing I must bring up is that people have the misconception that I'm actually good at using/fixing computers. Let me bust this myth right now, I'm not good with computers in fact I'm probably the exact opposite. I did study IT for two years but they didn't teach us about how you go about diagnosing/solving computer troubles. Can you blame them? There are just so many. Or, if they did I wasn't paying attention.

Arrgh it's getting late, and I really should get to bed I have a six o'clock start tommorrow... Help Me.... and I still got more to write. I guess I'll leave it till tommorrow.

Random Program I Have Open Right Now: Skype

Till Tomorrow

Monday, July 30, 2007

I'm Back!

aSorry bout yesterday, get bogged down in thought sometimes... not cool. For some reason it's easier to get caught up in negative thoughts rather than positive ones. Today I was back to being myself, went to the movies with my aunt, more specific we went to see Harry Potter. Not being a die hard HP fan myself I got lost in the movie a few times and it seemed to jump from here to there without any explanation. Here's your obsurd analogy for today, it reminded me of the teleportation in star trek. That being said my aunt who is a die hard fan said she loved it. So there you go... depends on your tastes I guess.

On the topic of movies, don't you just hate it, you order a coke (medium) and it's as big as the empire state building. Now I'm very padantic about drinks, drinks before meals and drinks in movies particularly. Did I say padantic, I meant paranoid because I have this working theory that restaurants use the pre meal drink to fill you up, so that either A) You don't notice how little they actually give you, or B) You don't finish your meal because your full and they reuse the left overs in other meals therefore saving money. This is a similar scam to movie drinks I think because halfway through the movie you really gotta do your business, because the mountain sized coke is putting pressure on all sides of your bladder. So how does this help the movie business? Well you gotta catch up the parts you missed so you buy another ticket and hello another 5 dollars to the cinema. CHA CHING!

On that topic, ever notice how when you get a beverage or ask for a beverage they always put ice in it. That's like them ripping you off, your only getting a 8/10 part of coke and 2/10 part of ice. I pay for a full product, so I am now boycotting all ice in my soft drinks. If I want it cold I'll refrigerate it myself. Thanks.

Alright I've done enough theory-crafting for one day, now I have to find my missing cd... gosh I hate losing things... it annoys me.

Random Book: Angels and Demons by Dan Brown

Till Tomorrow

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Grrrr annoyed

Okay serious post this time, but don't you hate it when people dissapoint you, for want of better word it is dissapointing. I don't know if it's just my luck or something but alot of people have been letting me down recently. Saying that they are going to do something, then don't, or tell me to do something, I do it then they want it anymore. It's upsetting to me and begs the question how can I trust you anymore? Why should I do anything for you? I don't know, I guess this is all part of that Human Drama that you hear everyone rave on about. Doctor Fred Alan Wolf says that Human Drama is caused by your mind and matter, or soul and body, are fighting against each because we are so inclined into believing that the real word and the 'imaginary' world are seperate. Weird huh?

In other news my aunt came back from her two month journey round Australia, she's cool so yay!

Anyway I really can't be bothered writing anymore than that today so bler.

Edit: Actually while I'm feeling so horribly bad I may as well write about it because I know I don't talk about my feelings to often. I guess what really annoys me is that no one will ever understand me like I do and it feels the more and more you progress through life the more your expected to fill this role of being someone else. Like your surroundings and people you surround yourself with is like the cookie cutter of you. Though it asks the question, How am I not myself? At the moment I don't have an answer.

I have real trouble opening up to people, well over and above the facade that everyone knows and I guess this stems from my mateships. Many people don't know, in fact I don't know anyone who knows this, but growing up till present day, my best relationships the ones where someone got to know me the best all of the have ended. Six of them come to memory, all ending with the other person having to move or whatever. You'd think by now I'd be used to being dissapointed by now, aye, but still.

Random Food: Potatoe Chips

Till Tomorrow

Saturday, July 28, 2007

I Swear to You

I hate the weekends... well, for blogging anyway. My weekends are soo boring, I need to jazz it up with something. Anyway today I thought I'd try my hand at some impromptu blogging (if that's possible). So this is how it's going to work, I've got my music set to random and basically whatever song plays next I'll write about the lyrics in some form or another. Don't get it? Neither do I, but anyway here I go:

The song = Pete Murray - Fly With You

If you don't know how the song goes it starts by going "The first time I saw your face, I was blown away without a trace." Obviously refering to some female who made him gobsmacked but lets get abstract for a second here. What if people had guns for faces? Then you definately wouldn't want someone sneezing/blowing their nose in your direction. Maybe this is why it's considered rude in japan, they are pre-empting they worse. Alright, lets take it a step back from these gun faced people, but what if he was talking about the transformer Destructor (The decepticon tank guy from the movie...I think)? It's possible... sort of.
"Hey, honey how was work"
"Decepticons superior, autobots inferior"
Then he shoots you... god what an pretentious ass.

"she made me feel all warn we talked all night till the dawn came our way"
A walking sun, always a romantic idea that a ball of gas that can incinerate all human life as we know it walking towards you. Maybe in hundred years or so when we have invented reliable space travel, who knows the sun maybe the perfect spot to take your date. However, then everyone could say that they had a hot date. Which brings about the point of what people will talk like in a hundred years? Will we all develope into sms talking people? Will english still be the dominate language? If I had to take a stab I'd say that they make like super language combining all known languages into one simplified form, an example.
la inu is gun
The dog is gone
Whether I'm right or wrong only time will tell.

"Someday I will fly with you"
On the topic of the future, is Pete Murray predicting the future of hover cars and jetpacks. It certainly sounds like it. If it is the case the future is a romance tale, people like me are saved! Gosh though, How many other songs predict, or attempt to predict the future? If there was a song that the future followed what would you like it be?
For me it would have to be Sex on the Beach by T-Spoon... hands down.

Gosh, my MS Paint skills are getting good, I should think of opening a tutoring business or something for sure.

Random Time: 9:52am

Anyway till tommorrow

Friday, July 27, 2007

It's Time To Sing!

What a day, everything was going well and had the makings of a really wonderful day until they sent me back out to e-letter solutions. Even then, I made it there without any worries, I didn't get lost. It was only when I arrived did it begin.

It all started when I bumped my head on the van door and spiralled down from there. It took thirty minutes of buzzer ringing, yelling, and phonecalls before they let me in. Then they had the bright idea of getting me to back the van into the place, I should of stopped there, and I backed it in too close to some empty pallets so I couldn't open the door proper (just great) so I had to squeeze out. I had to wait another twenty minutes for the people there to get the stuff I needed. Up to this point I was still fairly happy, I mean there wasn't really anything that bad... that was until the person who was getting my stuff arrived. With him he carried two full pallets of boxes, and at first I thought "There is no way he is going to make me move all that stuff on my own" and let me tell you now, I was wrong. Oh how I was very wrong. Not only that but he basically stood there and watched me, (weird, no?) and about halfway through it he goes "You'll build up big muscles after this." I was freaked out, and annoyed at the same time. Was he comming on to me? I hope not.

After went to lunch with my dad, kind of corny but when you can get a forty dollar lunch for free 'why not?' I say. Anywho as we entered the sushi station I noticed that their tea maker was from a brand named 'Urnie.' So we then sat down for lunch and I got some crumbed prawns, spring rolls, and some sushi (shrimp and avocado) and then the hostess came around and offered us some cups of green tea. I'm not a fan of tea, especially if it's green, so I asked. "Was this made from the machine at the front?" "Yes" she replied. "Sorry ma'am, I am not drinking anything from a machine that has an anagram of urine on the front" What? it was harsh, cruel, but it was true!

The next part of the day consisted of me unleashing my anger into some polystyrene computer boxes. This was kind of fun until I decided to punch one and my fist went straight through and hit the wall on the otherside bruising my middle finger. After that I had the idea of bear hugging the boxes into submission. This worked well, until I got the thought "What if I squeezed so hard that a polystyrene bit got absorbed into my skin? What if it got infused with my DNA and I became some sort of half polystryrene half human freak?" I don't think my insurance covers that sort of thing. Could you imagine that? It would give a whole new meaning to breaking your fingers.

Lastly, another cartoon... don't get to used to it though, it's only when I get inspiration.

Random Serial Number: E-194

Till Tommorrow


Thursday, July 26, 2007

Pajama Party

Question: If a picture says a thousand words, then what does this one say?

If you didn't already know, there is a counter at the bottom of this page and it gives me feedback on the amount of visitors (both return vistors as well as first timers), page loads, and all that jazz. Yesterday it recorded a massive twelve individuals reading the blog, which for me is huge! So I wanted to use this little bit of power to give some shout outs.

Shout out to Steph for the inspiration.
Shout out to Bob for being the first volunteer cameo blogger.
Shout out to Jono for reading almost everyday and admitting it.
Shout out to Ryan for the advice.
Shout out to Dave P for befriending his ex.
Then just a general thanks for anyone who does read this but more so to you Dave fans who come back again and again and again.

Now that I've used my power for good, let me do some evil by trying to brainwash you guys with a little poem I wrote. It's called "Do my bidding"

Do My Bidding - By David Williams

Indigo Sunset

Mirage on the open seas
Under water colours
Scale from blue
To black

Is the girl who I
Love and the girl who
Loves me

Never to far from
The truth or from being

Alright, now if you didn't get it I suggest you go back and read it fifty-three more times. No more, no less. If by then you still don't get it, just read the first letter of every line. My first attempt at subliminal messaging, I can only hope that it was a success. It's not that I don't like what santa does, it's just that well last year he gave me a doll with pink ribbons through her long blonde hair. With the mini skirt so minute that you can see her private parts, the underwear wasn't included . So, yes santa must pay for this mistake! First we topple the north pole, next we topple the world! Through the power of dance!

In other news, the big thing that happened well last night was that Mirr spoke to me for the first time after a falling out we had around about 18 months ago. It was certainly an unexpected surprise. Well, including that, things are looking really well for me at the moment. I can only hope things get better from here.

Finally for today, remember that picture? Well, this is what I came up with.

Random Sport: Squash

Till tomorrow.

P.S. Be on the lookout for a new poll.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

It's Monkey Time!

Yahoo! Yesterday we saw the defeat of cheesecake in the ever so close poll. Thanks to all those who voted and to celebrate the monkey I thought I'd do an impersonation.

Convincing arn't I, on top of that let's all revisit the monkey sniffing his finger.
While we are on the topic of youtube here are some other videos that I recommend you visit:

Alright, enough of that lets get on with the day. Today was another strangely awesome day. i went to my second lecture of the week and found that this lecturer was so out there, she has two personalities. How do I know? She comes in and the first thing she says is "Fuck this piece of shit" over the microphone then right after she becomes the nicest person. I was like 'wow' she must be from creative industries. She told some lady that she was lovely, and I couldn't help but think of Dorris from Hot Fuzz "Nothing like a bit of girl on girl action." However, the course seems really cool, and this is the first time I've ever been excited to get to the assessment. For one piece, we can write a story if we want (yipee), and for the other two we have to develope a text based game.

Immediately, I started brainstorming ideas. My main one being some drug addict who gets trapped on an elevator in a black out and starts hallucinating. That way I can go so abstract with what happens that it will just be like I'm on drugs. Other idea's include a bowling pin going on a shooting rampage, killing all the bowling balls.... It's a work in progress.

Anyway, I saw something very weird today going home on the train today it was a billboard split in two for two different ads, on one side it had a charity if I remember correctly it went: "Every five seconds a child dies of hunger, do you care?"It was very touching, and really spoke to me. Until I saw the other ad which read: "FRESH BURGERS AT OPORTO"... The irony.

Lastly, it was requested a few days ago but here it is in all it's glory.

Random Colour: Magenta

Till tommorrow

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Chimney Puffs

Wow what a day, so full of excitement and adventure! Sugoi! I had my first business lecture today, it was interesting. I met some guy and, extremely out of character of me, we went out to lunch in a completely heterosexual manner. Which was wierd but cool, he seemed nice enough, and I do need more uni friends.

Anyway, back to the lecture, the lecturer I must say has got to be the best looking lecturer I've had so far. So I had no problems concentrating. However, she has this Yorkshire accent where she pronounces Rs as Ws. So when she asked "How do you know when you are right?" I immediately thought "When people confuse you with casper."I had to laugh. As it continued we were given several businesses and we had to discuss what recent news stories we had heard. Since neither me nor Mat watched the news we decided to make up our own stories. Funnily enough Jetstar was one of the business, and Mat put forth the idea that they had been training monkeys to become pilots.

It gets funnier, when someone suggests that they have a new competitor called Tiger Airlines and the first thought that came to my head was "Ofcourse they are offshoring to tigers now because everyone knows that they work for less money." After that I came home and had to pick up my brothers car from the service and as I walked up I passed "The Black Swamp" sounds exciting so I've decided I'll go investigate it sometime. With any luck I might uncover a secret tomb of some sort.

Lastly I finally made it home, and developed a rap that goes "Who's a Ghengis? Ghengis is a Ghengis" and kept repeating it about fifty times. It wasn't very innovative but my dog (Ghengis) seemed to enjoy it and showed his appreciation by growling at me.

Random Song Lyric: I'm not sleeping at night, but I'm going from bar to bar why can't we just rewind. - "Rewind" Paolo Nutini

Till tommorrow

Monday, July 23, 2007

Shelter Me

Ever wonder if your shoelaces were possessed by something out of this world... something evil. I do, everytime I go somewhere one of my laces is always untied. I've never had this problem till I got these new shoes now it's always the situation. It's really a case of satanic shoelaces and not only that but it's like it communicated with my other shoes as well. Some sort of shoelace coop on me. It's doesn't matter what knots I tied; single, double, triple, and the extremely silly quadrople. I'm thinking of taking this whole idea to the next level and try and get a priest to cast an exorcism on my shoelaces. Then again... that might be a tad too far, plus I don't want to get my shoes wet with holy water.

I was bored at work again, so I imagined that the closet was some ancient temple. Something out of Indiana Jones. Anyway, my story goes that after half an hour of gaining the courage. I bravely ventured into the depths of this temple fighting off the evil creatures that lived there. These can only be described as folders of darkness, they fell of the shelves on top of me like an avalanche of paper and staples. After a good three minutes of battling I came across a riddle. There were ten different keys on the wall, only one was the van key. I had to choose, a wrong choice could put me in deep water. Thankfully there was a hint, a label under the right key saying "Van Key" and that's the end of my adventure. Yata!

Lastly, to the trolley boy who was straing me down. I hate you, you no good filthy trolley boy. You disgust me with your trolley pushing ways and YES! I did make faces at you deal with it punk.

Random Shape: Triangle

Till tommorrow

Sunday, July 22, 2007

And an oga boga to you to

How are we all? No, don't answer that it was rhetorical and I don't really care. Don't you just hate it when you pass someone and they are like "Hey, how are you going?" and your like "Well I had a bad sexual experience last ...." and before you finish they are already half way down the hall asking someone else. Why not just say 'hey' and leave it at that. I don't know, you people are weird.

Anyway, I have a pack of potatoe chips. Jealous? I bet you are you filthy sea dog, not really. I just thought I'd throw something random in there for a quick laugh, which I bet you did. So yeah, this weekend I watched Hot Fuzz and Somethings Got to Give. Hot Fuzz was definately the better of the two, but got to give some credit to Somethings Got to Give. I did laugh a few times but thought it was a bit disjointed and could of been done better(not by me of course).

Apart from that though not much, hopefully I'll have more to talk about tommorrow.

Random Name: Harry Barnes


Saturday, July 21, 2007


Alright, so my idea was, just to jazz my blog up a bit on the weekends, to get some friends off mine to write something, a blog, a story, or whatever, and put it up as sort of a cameo blog. I thought it was a cool idea, however trying to pull it off is entirely a different thing.

So, guys, send me some blogs, or stories, or anything, to my email address. It is a good idea and I do want to do something like it in the future.

Anyway today was not my day, again, with the wallabies losing 26-12. Dissapointing, really, but then again the refereeing was as bad as sour milk in a toilet bowl. However, I got to meet up with my mate Big D so it's all good. Anyway lets hope tommorrow is better than today.

Random Item in Dave's Study: Pencil Sharpener

Till tommorrow

Friday, July 20, 2007

Uh Oh, Spaghetti O

What a day, it was a day of two halves. In the way that the first part was good, great in fact got my uni timetable sorted, but the second. Woah, just woah, it was like a day in hell's hell. I swear, I was so close to losing it and breaking my no swearing for a week challenge. First off I had the task of mailing out these books, little did I know that the books hadn't arrived so I was mailing out the old ones. That would of been surprise for the schools. Next was that this book contained my picture and story, however thanks to being taller than the photographer and the fact that they didn't tell me that I was going to have my photo taken on that particular day. It is probably the worst photo I've seen of myself.
Can you imagine meeting someone who saw that?
They'd be like "don't I know you from somewhere" then after they rustle my hair and get down on their knees, they will be like "oh right, your from that QTAC book." Don't I feel special.

Alright than the worst part of the day is when they decide to send me off with a truckful of stuff to deliver across the city. I got lost no more than thirteen times, and it was in here which I really got annoyed. I mean, personally, I like to be in control. So being lost is the furthest thing from being in control, having no idea where you are and no idea where your going is kind of scary. Thankfully from the help of steph I made it without losing it... too badly. Yatah.

The rest of the day I spent in the elevator dancing. That's right I admit I DANCE IN THE ELEVATOR. Can you digg it or am just too real for ya?

Random Fact: Human's have ten toes.

Till tommorrow

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Ravioli Yeah!

Day four of my exciting adventure as a blogger is now reaching the climax. With nothing happening again today I'm forced to rant about the decay of society and how much it annoys me. Take a day like today for example, I see this guy at the train station with the sentence "Fuck the Fucking Fuckers" (I was quoting.. it doesn't count as me swearing.) and yeah at first I smirked because I knew the reference.
However, after a while it sunk in that he was wearing an innapropriate shirt and no one cared. I mean what the hell, where did common courtesy go?

Next thing on the list of where society has gone horribly wrong, whats the deal with people bringing alcohol on the train? I mean, are you really going to be on the train that long? Can't you wait till after or finish it before. Is it really that cool to break the law? Not in my opinion.

Two more things to finish off my list.
First, is the self esteem issue. I get it, I've been depressed it's not fun, it's not cool. So why not think of yourself some more. Did you know that they have already started a charity to boost the self esteem of teenage females in Australia? It's rubbish, I mean I don't care who you are, what you look like, or how old you are. You are beautiful, and if you don't think so... why should anyone else?

Lastly, where did english go? There used to be a time where kids were taught it at a young age. I certainly was, and now it's cool to misspell words and leave letters out. I mean I'm not perfect, but at least I try.

Anyway I'll go back to being funny tommorrow

Random Movie Quote:
Jack: What are your legs?
Archy Hamilton: Springs. Steel springs.
Jack: What are they going to do?
Archy Hamilton: Hurl me down the track.
Jack: How fast can you run?
Archy Hamilton: As fast as a leopard.
Jack: How fast are you going to run?
Archy Hamilton: As fast as a leopard.
Jack: Then lets see you do it.
- Gallipoli (1981)


Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Fact Finding

First off, thanks for reading so far and YAHOO first comment, so to celebrate I've made the following tribute to that lucky (or unlucky) user.

Anyway back on topic, another average day. Boring. I'm still waiting on giant robots to invade the planet like in the movies... guess I'm going to have wait a little bit longer. For now, and to fill in some space I'd thought I'd write some fun facts about myself.
Fun Fact #1: I have two middle names Timothy Norris.
Fun Fact #2: Every baseball team I have been involved in has made it to the finals.
Fun Fact #3: I play world of warcraft find me on Babaganuush or Sockless on frostmourne. "Horde superior, Alliance inferior" I agree soundwave.
Fun Fact #4: I have two dogs and a cat.
Fun Fact #5: I lied about the cat.
Fun Fact #6: My favourite colour is Green.
Fun Fact #7: I have a picture of a flower in my study.
Fun Fact #8: My star sign is a Taurus.
Fun Fact #9: My favourite drink is bundy and rum.
Fun Fact #10: I got an OP 9.
UnFun Fact #1: I needed an OP8.
UnFun Fact #2: I've never had a successful job interview.
UnFun Fact #3: I've never had a serious girlfriend.
UnFun Fact #4: My most humiliating moment, was trying out for the regional baseball team it was a team of 18 and 19 people turned up. I was the one who got cut. I've never tried out for regionals again.
UnFun Fact #5: Due to sedation not working, the dentist jabbed me with his needle 7 times... I now have a fear of dentists... and needles.

Alright that's me done for today, I've put myself out there love it or hate it doesn't really matter. However, before I go I want to turn your attention to the NO SWEAR CHALLENGE! Trying to change the world for the better I put it to you, you filthy blog readers, not to swear for a week! Can you do it, have you got the power? We shall see.

Random Answer: 63.2

See you tommorrow

P.S. Check out my poll and vote away => Cheesecake sucks... not really but it shouldn't be winning.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Another day, another dollar?

What a day, what a day, what a day. Waking up at 5:30am is NOT my cup of tea, I don't even like tea. So today I rebeled, I slept in instead of having my shower, naughty naughty, but it helped my sleepiness and left me with a over dramatic hair do. I was annoyed when I finally did wake up, told my mum not to make me breakfast. Bad idea. I don't know why but that's what happens when I get aggrivated I refuse to eat. Very intimidating arn't I?

Anyway, I was thinking alot about my immediate future this morning. Probably why I was so annoyed. I mean why do we always think so negatively all the time? Well I do anyway, for example: I have an awesome life, I have a good job, I'm doing the course that I love, I have awesome friends and family, the only thing that I don't have is dare I say it; a girlfriend. And believe it or not it's the only thing that persistantly plagues my mind. Like a rash. By now you've probably guessed I got a lady problem from the URL and it's true I'll admit it. Though more on that later, right now I gots some more ranting to do.

Okay, worst thing today must have been the fat lady. Now, I don't really have any grudges against fat people... minus this one. She was obviously wearing a skirt that fit her when she was thirteen but now she has grown up put on some weight and OH MY GOD SHE SAT DOWN ACROSS FROM ME WITH HER LEGS SPREAD! I was so close to jabbing my thumbs into my retinas in fact I would of if I wasn't too busy trying to keep my lunch down. Which wasn't an easy feat mind you, McDonalds is easy to go down and easier to come back up again.

Random thought: What if every sperm had a label, that way instead of going through the dilema of coming up with a name its already choosen. Sorta like a lucky dip.
"Come on larry, come on larry... GOD DANG IT'S A FRED!"

Anyway catch you tommorrow

Monday, July 16, 2007

Wtf Router!

First off welcome! This is the new home of my blogging, writing and stuff. I hope. After I found windows live spaces deleted all my old posts (BOOOOO HISSSS) and I'm not keen on getting a myspace I came here. Anyway to kick start my new blog I wrote the story seen in the previous entry. I would of posted this sooner but after I posted that story my router kicked out for some reason beyond my control, and after giving up all hope and shaping to buy a new one it works again?! It's a miracle!!! Ok not really but still it's pretty strange, I've seen things that made more sense in the twilight zone.

Alright now that that is out of the way (I used that twice in a row... does that count as alliteration?). I was on the train today and have you ever noticed how the empty coke bottle rolling around on the ground is always attracted to your foot? I mean I kicked this sucker away like five times and it kept coming back. Like a dog after it's master. So here I am now forming a strike against coke bottles rolling around on the train, DON'T KNUDGE MY FEET YOU BASTARDS!

That's me done for today
Dave out.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

The Showdown

It was an impressive sight seeing two men, in their mid thirties, standing either end of the street. While not normally impressive this was old country where civility was gone and people settled petty arguments with gun fights. Was it worth dieing for cheating at a game of poker, probably not, but all philosophies on life were thrown out the window with the first punch and a declaration of a challenge. So now the two seasoned duellists awaited the chime, signifying noon, from the old town hall.
“This is my battle, boy” One of the men yelled, it was Sammy the Skull Crusher, brutal name, brutal in nature. He got his nickname after he killed someone for putting salt in his beer as a practical joke and after Sammy killed him he jumped on his head crushing it completely leaving only a bloody mess behind.
“Not if I have anything to do about it” The Monk yelled back, his real name was Marcus Costello but everyone called him The Monk because of the way he hated these gun battles and although he was a veteran he had never killed anyone.
Marcus was probably the weaker battler of the two because of the lack of killer instinct but he was still convinced he was going to win, in old town you had to believe as the alternative was death.
“You shouldn’t of cheated, you dog” Sammy spat.
“And lose all of my money; I think not” Marcus replied “Besides, now I can finally defeat the great Sammy Skull Crusher.” He chuckled as he said his name, he was the one who cheated the game but not because he needed money. Not for himself, he was playing for a family on the outskirts of town they declared bankruptcy only the day before.
Both fighters looked at the clock, one minute to go. The air got tense and so did the men, they readied their hands above their pistols. The trick about these fights is to listen to the clock opposed to the chime. If one listens close enough they can hear the mechanics inside and acting on this sounds gives the fighter the illusion of being quicker than they actually are; and so both men listened.
The clock wound down.
This was the moment all fighters loved, the moment before the climax when the outcome could not be seen. The dice were being rolled.
There it was; the sound they were waiting for, Sammy thrust his hand onto the handle even before having a good grip he began angling the barrel at his opponent. Marcus, was more delicate taking his time, he got a good grip and started raising his arm.
BANG! Sammy fired. His shot was rushed and hit The Monk in the left shoulder, while the gun in his right hand never flinched. By now it was raised and pointed at Sammy he pulled the trigger. BANG! His hand flung upward due to recoil, he steadied it again and fired. BANG! Sammy was stunned realising the fight wasn’t over he fired. BANG! It seemed as though time slowed down as the three bullets moved leaving a trail of air pockets in their wake. Marcus’s first bullet passed Sammy’s sparing only an inch, the second wasn’t as lucky as it scraped Sammy’s altering the direction of both bullets forcing them to shoot of to the sides, missing both the targets.
Sammy still standing, dropped his gun.
“It’s over” Marcus said and he was right his first bullet had dug itself deep into Sammy’s right shoulder, the one he used to hold his gun. Marcus holstered his gun, turned his back, and began walking, he smiled. He had won but in reality no one wins in old town.