Hangman

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

For Andrew

OK, so no more university (for now) meaning no more excuses, well apart from this abomination called work. And well more importantly is that to make up for the lack of entries this blog will be somewhat of a MEGABLOG a wall of massively, hopefully, hilarious text that will reach out and rip eyeballs from their sockets, then sprinkle them with sugar before serving them to Hilary Clinton for lunch. If you think that's a bad thing, well, you're wrong.

So to get this great Indiana Jones Boulder sized ball of text rolling, I went to the wrestling last night - not the smartest thing in the world when you have to go to work the next day. However, it was worth it. I think everyone has seen wrestling on T.V. and hopefully realized just how fake it is, well, when you see it live it's even more phony (Woah! big claim, but it is). Not only that, but you realize it before you even see the first fight, just the way they call these guys 'Artists' and not wrestlers. Probably the only art form where you cut yourself and people cheer...

Anyway, at one point of the night, and one of my favourites, was the 'wrestler' Edge came out and the crowd roared out this "Edge is a wanker" chant. Which lasted for about a minute, and after it settled down Edge had a few things to say.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEb589yuEFc
Although it doesn't show all of it, Edge went around verbally abusing people calling them wankers, it was great. I let him have it too, I went all Australian on him and called him a 'Bloody Flamin Drongo' cop that Edge.

On the topic of wrestling there was one fight where they were making fun of this guy because he made a gay innuendo (in your end oh!) and I must of been the only one in the crowd who got the irony of a guy in a skin tight body suit pretending to fight calling someone else gay... Maybe I am weird.

Speaking of Irony, now that I have a girlfriend who can vouch for my sexuality, I can announce that I am a bit of a fan of Ben Lee (He's actually not that bad) and after to listening to his not-so-new song Numb. I finally got one of his jokes, as a line goes "Ironically I caught a disease." And I've always thought there was nothing ironic about that, until yesterday - making folders allows the mind to expand - when I remembered his old hit "Catch My Disease." Ha ha Ben Lee Ha ha.

let's take a short intermission

*Whistles*

Back into it, now I've been saving this one for a while. The Super 14 season now being over, I looked back and reminisced about all the crappy ads they played over and over on the big screen. Especially after one team would score a try, kick the conversion, and up would come "This conversion was proudly brought to you by Coca Cola, Drink Responsibly" (Guess which part I added) so cocky of them, as if they knew that they would kick that conversion. Probably got some psychic working for them full time.

Though apart from that, it made me wonder - What if all areas of our lives were overly commercialised?
This turd was brought to you by Pine-O Clean. Give your shit a refreshing smell today!
This glass of water was brought to you by Gatorade because H2O sucks.
This sex dream was brought to you by Kevin Rudd, Vote Labour!

Since it was suggested here it is:
There is nothing remotely funny about drop bears.
Unless of course you try to rap about them:
When wondering the Aussie Outback beware
Coming from the trees are the bloody drop bears
Where do they come from where do they go?
I'm just another ignorant mofo so I say who cares
But you know what's the worst, and just can't be beat
A hairy beast that stands at two feet
All clad in black with a samurai sword
It's a ninja koala.

That is the end of the funny stuff, I hope you enjoyed it, now I'm just got to get some stuff my hairless chest, feel free to read on, but won't be as entertaining. Firstly, it's 17 days to go before my trip to Perth to see the most beautiful girl in the world, aka Steph. However, things have taken a turn for the worse lately, you see, she just moved house and now has no Internet connection. Now, this is a MASSIVE blow to the relationship, because we can't talk as much as we want. We've gone from talking every night to talking once every three nights or something, it's a hard thing to do, and to be honest I'm starting to feel like a stranger to her again. It hurts.

That's me done
Random spelling of Random: Ranndome
Dave

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